To Montessori or not?

I thought I had my whole plan for the next few months worked out. Not on paper (I really need to sit down and do that) but it's all in my head.

I think I posted a little bit before about how I decided we would worth through my Montessori books before we moved on to a curriculum set. (Right now I'm looking at Sonlight, it's been my favorite for a while) I want time to do lots of hands on learning and really focus on finishing Kaydences reading lessons. (Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy lessons) Then when we're finished I'd like to move Kaydence on to Sonlight (or a different one possibly) and keep Nolan working on Montessori type things until he is older. I was really comfortable with my plan and excited to get started. We went to church this morning and my mind was wandering a bit to homeschooling and I felt so at peace. Then this evening I started questioning everything. My whole carefully thought out plan! I thought, "Oh my gosh, what am I doing?! This is all wrong, I need to buy a curriculum set NOW." Luckily some part of my rational brain was still functioning and telling me not to rush to anything.

Maybe it was the back to school buzz? I'm so excited for all the kids getting back to school. Public and homeschool, and I'm excited for all the teachers. Kaydence and I have been talking a lot about how we're so glad we can learn together at home. She is ready to go! I wanted to sit down and plan out at least this months lessons over the weekend. It ended up being kind of a busy one, so I didn't get there. I think I need to remember that I planned to give myself a week to get organized, re-arrange some things in the house. I want to set up a "school room" where our play room currently is and turn my sons room (which he doesn't sleep in anymore) into their play room. My mom suggested using Nolans room as our school room, but I like the play room better. It's more open and we can spread out a lot more. Maybe it's just the stress/anticipation building? I don't know. I don't feel stressed. I'm not even worried about not having our school room set up. I've got to find some more book shelves and a table for us to use, but that will take time. Eventually it will be set up the way I want, but in the meantime I'm not worried.

I'm just really second guessing myself. Not the decision to homeschool, I know without a doubt that right now it's the best thing for us. Will that change later? I don't know, I try not to think too far in advance when homeschool is concerned. (just the thought of high school makes me cringe) Just what if I'm approaching it the wrong way? I don't exactly have a ton of family support. It's kind of a weird feeling. On one hand they support me, but they are also quick to make comments about why I need to send them to school, but all in a positive we want the best for you sort of way. It's not anything negative. My husband is supporting me, but he's really not nuts about it. So sometimes I end up feeling like I'm doing this alone. That isn't the case because I've been trying to make some more homeschooling friends. The homeschooling community is really great, everyone is so quick and willing to help.

I just wanted to write this down, because homeschooling isn't all sunshine and rainbows. Some days are amazing, and somedays I know I'll be second guessing every thing. Next time I go into panic mode I'll have to remember this and remind myself that it will be ok. Also, since I originally started this with the hope that maybe other people getting started would read it and feel like they weren't the only ones having a hard time. Tomorrow I'm going to spend some time getting organized and hopefully the next post will be filled with our great "back to school" week. I'm going to ride out my insecurities tonight, and hopefully tomorrow with a fresh perspective I'll be ready to roll.